I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
BILL HICKSI’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
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I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I’d get pulled over by the cops, I’d be so drunk I’d be out dancing to their lights thinking I’d made it to another club.
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you’re all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)
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A Christian will say… “I believe God created me in one day” Yeah, looks liked He rushed it.
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
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The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.
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This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions.
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This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
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At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm… Sounds like… every commercial on television, doesn’t it?
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
BILL HICKS