I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you’re all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)
BILL HICKSWhen two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
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I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
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I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
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How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
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I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
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The CIA has a plot…they’ve used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem…is convincing Hussein…to fly to Dallas.
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The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
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STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet.
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.
BILL HICKS