“How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?”

Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.

How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

not all drugs are good.. some of them are great

I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.

We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!

STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.

The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are

May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?

Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.

What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!

Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

To feel valued, to know, even if only once in a while, that you can do a job well is an absolutely marvelous feeling.

A writers job is to destroy and then to build the thing back up again by a chosen means.

Exploring the different avenues and being open to synchronicity and crazy coincidences and little things happening is part of going on your journey to investigate – and the little jewels you might find along the way, my job is to bring those back home and put them on my album.

So he was opening night… I was out of a job, and I’d been to every producer in Hollywood trying to get a job singing. But nobody wanted to know me.

It’s unresolved conflict in my life that I have a lovely family and a risky job.

One thing I can say about George… he may not be able to keep a job, but he’s not boring.

When you find yourself thinking about someone or something in the same old negative way, just stop yourself. Think. Check. Change. Refresh. Job done. Smile. Move on. Do this enough times and you will change. For the better; for the stronger.

I don’t have time for a job that doesn’t leave me time to be quiet or still or to pray.