“May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?”

We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!

STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.

The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are

Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.

What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!

Surgeon General’s warning ought to read: Smoking has been determined t0 cause cancer, heart disease & rednecks with seniority.

Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.

If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.

Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.

You want a better world…? Legalize pot right now. …end the deficit? Legalize pot right now…biggest cash crop in America.

It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.

To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.

In a world gushing blood day and night, you never stop mopping up pain.

Most people are slow to champion love because they fear the transformation it brings into their lives.

So what. What are you going to do? Jump off the Empire State Building?” It’s all still the same. The last day of your life is still going to be a day.

The last day of your life is still going to be a day.

I begin my course with these words: Tidying is a special event. Don’t do it every day.

Some people are ok with doing nothing all day after they retire, but then some people if they had nothing to do would go mad and start banging their heads against a wall. .

One day that same year, I told my dad that someday, I would sail around the world alone.

Every day, there’s that tension and the pressure. Each scene that you shoot is like getting to that next step, but there’s still that mountain to climb. So it’s not like one day is harder or one scene is harder. They are all equally challenging.