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Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.

Bill Hicks

I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I’m fascinated by it. I’m fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it.
BILL HICKS

Assassination Government Lying Talking
What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
BILL HICKS

Abortion Say Talk Thing
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
BILL HICKS

Bullying Creative Ideas Revolutionary
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
BILL HICKS

Mechanical Smoking Thinking Years
You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
BILL HICKS

Believe Creation Eye People Real
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
BILL HICKS

Marijuana Mistake Weed
Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.
BILL HICKS

Children Funny Jobs
Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
BILL HICKS

Country Dad Hate Sometimes
I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
BILL HICKS

Doors Eye Fear Gun Yourself
I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
BILL HICKS

Horrible Kids People Saws
Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Murder
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
BILL HICKS

Believe Drug Growing
STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
BILL HICKS

After Know Stratford Sucks Suppose
Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
BILL HICKS

Ass Eating Miracle
I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Two

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.

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Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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