To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
BILL HICKSSTRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Sixteen years I’ve pounded my head against the mentality of America, which…I’d say it’s about an 8th grade emotional level.
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It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm… Sounds like… every commercial on television, doesn’t it?
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Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
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No, I don’t do drugs anymore, either. But I’ll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I’ll tell you something honestly about drugs, honestly, and I know it’s not a very popular idea, you don’t hear it very often anymore, but it is the truth,
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What before seemed a…frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet.
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Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.
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Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
BILL HICKS