You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
BILL HICKSSTRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride …
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I’ll prove it to you. You’re at a ball game or a concert, and someone’s really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
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I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
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Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
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You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
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When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
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I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
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How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?
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Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They’re sick, they’re not criminals. Sick people don’t get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.
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While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.
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I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don’t think a Marlboro Light’s gonna faze him that much.
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I go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
BILL HICKS