If you don’t think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD’s and burn them.
BILL HICKSTo me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
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Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions
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Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
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I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
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The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It’s a war against our civil rights, that’s all it is. They’re using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one.
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All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
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I go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’
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Don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
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It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
BILL HICKS