It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
BILL HICKS
BILL HICKS
Bill Hicks on jesus
Bill Hicks177 quotes“It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.”
More from Bill Hicks
I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
Bill HicksBill Hicks It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
Bill HicksBill Hicks Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
Bill HicksBill Hicks What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
Bill HicksBill Hicks I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
Bill HicksBill Hicks What before seemed a…frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all.
Bill HicksBill Hicks Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here’s my message: as scary as the world is – and it is – it is merely a ride …
Bill HicksBill Hicks I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.
Bill HicksBill Hicks What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
Bill HicksBill Hicks Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.
Bill HicksBill Hicks I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
Bill HicksBill Hicks Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
Bill HicksBill Hicks I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
Bill HicksBill Hicks Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
Bill HicksBill Hicks Sixteen years I’ve pounded my head against the mentality of America, which…I’d say it’s about an 8th grade emotional level.
Bill HicksBill Hicks I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
Bill HicksBill Hicks
Original quotes
From our community writers
Caught inside my mind trapped between its horrid lines losing precious time.
Carmen AmadosCarmen Amados Some women will have you look at life differently.
Eleni SophiaEleni Sophia The biggest reward often require the largest risks.
Nicole BrownNicole Brown Being with you is familiar, like playing guitar after some time; the theory is there but my fingers have forgotten the chords.
AstaAsta Late-night conservations, Breathtaking memories, and an endless sky full of unseen dazzling stars. That’s how I want to remember us.
AurthurAurthur Nothing is more terrifying than falling in love.
Helena DegnHelena Degn People who cannot see through souls will keep searching for beauty in faces and will never find it.
Shilpa GoelShilpa Goel There is someone out there waiting to love you in all the ways you deserve.
Ashley PrzywolskiAshley Przywolski
Meet the writers
More on jesus
I am and always will be a sinner. But that’s the beautiful thing about Jesus. I’ll always try to be a better person in the eyes of God. But I’m not all of a sudden stepping up on a pedestal and saying I’m holier than thou, ’cause I’m not!
Billy Ray CyrusBilly Ray Cyrus May Mary, who in the freedom of her ‘Fiat’ and her presence at the foot of the cross, offered to the world, Jesus, the Liberator, help us to find him in the Sacrament of the altar
Pope John Paul IIPope John Paul II Prayer is the risen Jesus coming in with His resurrection power, given free rein in our lives, and then using His authority to enter any situation and change things.
Ole HallesbyOle Hallesby In a powerful, divine dream, I saw 50 million people on a “Royal Journey of Hope” who were looking and yearning for a deeper knowledge of God as the God of Hope in every arena of life and throughout the earth.
Bob HartleyBob Hartley Jesus took what I deserved so I could get what He deserved.
Bill JohnsonBill Johnson If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
Billy ConnollyBilly Connolly What does God the Father look like? Although I’ve never seen Him, I believe – as with the Holy Spirit – He looks like Jesus looked on earth.
Benny HinnBenny Hinn I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
Billy ConnollyBilly Connolly