I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKSWhy is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
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I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
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It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
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God has this…hobby. He creates perfection. This world is not perfect. We have to learn to separate illusions from reality.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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…love rather than fear…this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope…surely there is hope for us all.
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We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
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How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?
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I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
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The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet.
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.
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We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It’s no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.
BILL HICKS