“Marijuana is a very dangerous drug. Some people smoke it just once and go directly into politics.”

The two party system just means that the corporations cut two checks instead of one.

A lot of us [comedians] are drawn to the stage or show business or whatever because we didn’t feel so great about ourselves, and we didn’t know how to do anything about that, so we sought external approval.

You can’t hate anybody till you hate yourself and you can’t love anybody till you love yourself.

We have a presidential election coming up. And I think the big problem, of course, is that someone will win.

Drugs are for idiots. I’m never going to be that person.

See, if you look at the drug war from a purely economic point of view, the role of the government is to protect the drug cartel. That’s literally true.

I was, I am and I always will be a drug addict. A person who gets involved in drugs has to fight it everyday.

One role of prohibition is in making the drug market more lucrative.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.

So who’s on drugs here? He looks as if he’s on drugs.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.