People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.
BILL HICKSI have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I’ll prove it to you. You’re at a ball game or a concert, and someone’s really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks.
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Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.
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I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
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In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
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I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
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Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
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Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
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I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
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….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
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Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
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What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
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I can’t believe a war against drugs when they have anti-drug commercials on TV all day long followed by This Bud is for you.
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People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
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Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.
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It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
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I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.
BILL HICKS