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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it

Bill Hicks

Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
BILL HICKS

Add Comedy might Show
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
BILL HICKS

Belief Funny God Humor Rush
The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they’ve never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people’s minds, exposing them to the light.
BILL HICKS

Exposing Laughing Light People
Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?
BILL HICKS

Anyone Law Pot Profit
I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Two
Pornography is any act that has no artistic merit and causes sexual thoughts…Sounds like almost every commercial on TV to me.
BILL HICKS

Artistic Causes Commercial Sound
Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
BILL HICKS

Country Dad Hate Sometimes
While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.
BILL HICKS

Freedom Religious Speech Years
I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
BILL HICKS

Marijuana Mistake Weed
…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe?
BILL HICKS

Beliefs Children Religion Sorry Superstitious
In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
BILL HICKS

Children Easter Night
You want a better world…? Legalize pot right now. …end the deficit? Legalize pot right now…biggest cash crop in America.
BILL HICKS

Cash Country World
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
BILL HICKS

Jobs People Vote
STRATFORD SUCKS!’ Am I supposed to run after these guys? I’d just stand there, you know. They’d back up. ‘STRATFORD SUCKS! …STRATFORD SUCKS!’ I’d say, ‘I know. I go there. You’re wasting gas, man.
BILL HICKS

After Know Stratford Sucks Suppose
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
BILL HICKS

Added Age Bible People Years

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it

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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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