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I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.

Bill Hicks

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Military
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
BILL HICKS

Dream Funny Ideas Revolutionary
I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
BILL HICKS

Evening Information Reality
I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
BILL HICKS

Looks Mouth World
I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
BILL HICKS

Flying Southern Towns
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
BILL HICKS

Added Age Bible People Years
It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
BILL HICKS

Insane Part Proud World
If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
BILL HICKS

Agnostic Atheism Atheist
The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Roles Starts Waiting
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
BILL HICKS

Book Phones Stupidity
I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
BILL HICKS

Arms Government Realizing
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
BILL HICKS

Eye Funny Inspirational Paint Spray
No one can give you any answers. There aren’t any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.
BILL HICKS

Answers Giving Mystery
I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Nothing. ‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’ Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
BILL HICKS

Alone Funny Humor Knowledge People
I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
BILL HICKS

Coffee Real Skins

I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.

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I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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