“I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.”

Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.

I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.

There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.

I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.

Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.

The CIA has a plot…they’ve used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem…is convincing Hussein…to fly to Dallas.

Humanity is just a virus with shoes.

I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.

People often ask me where I stand politically. It’s not that I disagree with Bush’s economic policy or his foreign policy, it’s that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.

The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.

This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.

When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

I’m sorry never made it better. I just let it suffice.

I’m sorry is no longer a healing balm. It won’t happen again is just another lie.

Don’t ever say you are sorry for “being caught in the moment”. Because, at that moment, that is EXACTLY where you wanted to be.

Every fool has a reason for feeling sorry for himself.

Many people have accused me of having a romantic view, whereas I personally I feel sorry for those who have lost romance in their lives.

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Do not feel sorry for me if I am gone.

In a relationship, the word ‘sorry’ is worth more than gold. However, the more it’s mentioned the lesser your love and affection becomes.