I don’t do drugs anymore… than, say, the average touring funk band.
BILL HICKSNow I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.
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Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
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People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
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Are gun rights advocates arguing that roving gangs…shooting innocent bystanders constitutes a ‘well-regulated militia’?
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You’re not a human till you’re in my phone book. There. My hat is now in the political ring.
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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
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The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
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I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
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I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
BILL HICKS