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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.

Bill Hicks

Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
BILL HICKS

Cold Environment Next War
The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
BILL HICKS

Benefits Reason Voice
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Mistakes Positivity
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns.
BILL HICKS

Doctor Dream Heart Hero President
And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, “This is my creation, perfect in every way… oh, dammit I left all this pot all over the place. Now they’ll think I want them to smoke it… Now I have to create Republicans.”
BILL HICKS

Perfect Thinking Want
Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Thinking
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
BILL HICKS

Bye Country
Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
BILL HICKS

Drug Illegal Marijuana
I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
BILL HICKS

Empty Life Thinking Tired
You ever seen somebody do that? I’ve seen someone do that. Let me tell you something – if you’re smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I’d think about quitting. And that’s just me, ya know.
BILL HICKS

Big Fear Quitting Smoke Something Think
I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Sorry
When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
BILL HICKS

Doe Guy Occur Thinking Work
We’ll see who believes in me now. I am the Prankster God – I am killing me!
BILL HICKS

Believe Killing Pranksters
I was a weekend drinker…I’d start on Saturday, end on Friday…thought I was controlling it…but I don’t drink any more.
BILL HICKS

Drink Friday Weekend
It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
BILL HICKS

Okay Thinking Trying
I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary

Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.

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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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