To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
BILL HICKSSixteen years I’ve pounded my head against the mentality of America, which…I’d say it’s about an 8th grade emotional level.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
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We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.
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All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
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They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
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I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
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When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
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I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
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England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States…23,000 deaths from handguns. But – there’s no connection.
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We are losing the ‘War on Drugs,’ which means there’s a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.
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You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make.
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In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
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Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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How do I know the Bible isn’t the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand…considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!
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It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
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I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.
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So, it’s good to be here, wherever I am.
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
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I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.
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It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
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If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.
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Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They’re sick, they’re not criminals. Sick people don’t get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.
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I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint… it has to do with creating and sharing.
BILL HICKS