How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
BILL HICKSWhat did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
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Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
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We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
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Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
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I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
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I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
BILL HICKS