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We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?

Bill Hicks

Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day.” Yeah, looks like he rushed it.
BILL HICKS

Belief Funny God Humor Rush
If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
BILL HICKS

Agnostic Atheism Atheist
People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn’t have, seeing as it’s being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.
BILL HICKS

Bemusement Country People Running
I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
BILL HICKS

Coffee Real Skins
Is it my business if somebody wants to burn a flag?…No, it’s not…That’s called logic and it’ll help us all evolve.
BILL HICKS

Flags Helping Want
Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
BILL HICKS

Country Employment Way
Humanity is just a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKS

Humanity Shoes Viruses
I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
BILL HICKS

Country Happened Law Mushrooms
I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
BILL HICKS

Misanthropic People Theory
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
BILL HICKS

Ideas Next Revolutionary
I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
BILL HICKS

Light Middlemen Mind Source
We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
BILL HICKS

Adam Dreams Enough Eve Instant
Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
BILL HICKS

Answers Helping People
I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Sorry
I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
BILL HICKS

Country Ideas Land
They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven’t proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven’t seen the stats on that yet.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Good Life Smoking
While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.
BILL HICKS

Freedom Religious Speech Years
Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
BILL HICKS

Created Fear Organization
Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
BILL HICKS

Bible Book Chocolate Race
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, ‘My dad can beat up your dad.’ I’d say ‘Yeah? When?’
BILL HICKS

Dad Funny Motivational
In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
BILL HICKS

Children Easter Night
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
BILL HICKS

Eye Funny Inspirational Paint Spray
To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
BILL HICKS

Country People Weapons
I’m just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.
BILL HICKS

Collective Ego Trying Unconscious
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
BILL HICKS

Artist Culture Perception Western
Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
BILL HICKS

Law Marijuana Mistakes Positivity
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You’re not a human being until you’re in my phone book.
BILL HICKS

Book Phones Stupidity

We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?

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We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?

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