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….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

Bill Hicks

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Mean
Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
BILL HICKS

Keith Nuts Plot Runner
Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
BILL HICKS

Enjoy Eternal Evening Fantasy Reality
I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
BILL HICKS

Bunny Celebrating Commemorating Easter Jesus Kings
I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
BILL HICKS

Bullshit Humanity Shoes Tired
I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
BILL HICKS

Believe Self Voice
The Voice of Reason is in us all…and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.
BILL HICKS

Benefits Reason Voice
Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
BILL HICKS

Land might Pick Please
I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
BILL HICKS

Believe Drug Growing
I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Sorry
I’m very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn’t possibly think of yourself… Good evening!
BILL HICKS

Empty Life Thinking Tired
I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Nothing. ‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’ Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
BILL HICKS

Alone Funny Humor Knowledge People
You ever seen somebody do that? I’ve seen someone do that. Let me tell you something – if you’re smoking out of a hole in your neck [mimics it again] I’d think about quitting. And that’s just me, ya know.
BILL HICKS

Big Fear Quitting Smoke Something Think
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
BILL HICKS

Coffee Real Skins
I believe it is our own misperceptions of who we really are that leads to every self-created hell you’ll find in this world.
BILL HICKS

Believe Created Self World

….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

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….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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