“Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird.”

I can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.

Fame is like a big eraser. It’s strange, now that I’m famous. In my parents’ opinion, all the shitty things – all the wreckage of my past – is erased.

If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.

We don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”

I’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.

When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn’t get a job and I couldn’t eat meat.

How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that’s who I am.

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

They never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in ’84.

With each game I play, with each season I play, I’m running out of chances. You’re never guaranteed next year. You’re never guaranteed the next game. You have to seize the opportunity when it’s there in front of you.

It took me 20 years of hard training to get the physique I have today. what you need is what i had – BELIEF IN YOURSELF.

We spend millions of dollars per year supplying more than adequate meals and a Koran to every detainee along with a prayer rug that meets their religious standards.

In recent years personal injury attorneys and trial lawyers have attacked the food industry with numerous lawsuits alleging that these businesses should pay monetary damages to those who, of their own accord, consume too much of a legal, safe product.

I think it’s safe to say that 50% of the record buying metal community is people between the ages of 16 and 25 – people still in their teenage-angsty, early young-adult years.

I am not just a celebrity, I’m a human-rights advocate for the last 20 years.

I can’t live for more than four years outside of Canada. I’m Canadian, so ultimately that is my reference point.

In a year’s time, he’s a year older.