I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin’ [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] ‘good evening everybody, remember me, smoking’s bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww.
BILL HICKSIt has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
-
-
I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
BILL HICKS -
What does an atheist scream when they come?
BILL HICKS -
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS -
It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
BILL HICKS -
Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
BILL HICKS -
Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
BILL HICKS -
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
BILL HICKS -
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
BILL HICKS -
I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
BILL HICKS -
Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
BILL HICKS -
They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
BILL HICKS -
I’ve had seven balls of light come off a UFO…explain to me telepathically we are all one and there’s no such thing as death.
BILL HICKS -
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
BILL HICKS -
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
BILL HICKS -
….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
BILL HICKS