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Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

Bill Hicks

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
BILL HICKS

Believe Creation Eye People Real
What does an atheist scream when they come?
BILL HICKS

Atheist Come Scream
What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
BILL HICKS

Boys Light Lightbulb Sun
I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
BILL HICKS

Looks Mouth World
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I’ll prove it to you. You’re at a ball game or a concert, and someone’s really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
BILL HICKS

Drunk Games Marijuana Obnoxious
I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.
BILL HICKS

Believe Bible Dad God People
I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
BILL HICKS

Australia Party Thinking
I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
BILL HICKS

Flying Southern Towns
….All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
BILL HICKS

Drug Poor Rich War Week
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
BILL HICKS

Bye Country
Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?
BILL HICKS

Country Employment Way
This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
BILL HICKS

Bad Drug Everybody Hypocritical Okay One
If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
BILL HICKS

Alcohol Numbers Offender War
Why is pot against the law? It wouldn’t be because anyone can grow it, and therefore you can’t make a profit off it, would it?
BILL HICKS

Anyone Law Pot Profit
It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer’s pussy.
BILL HICKS

Good Jesus Real Smoking
I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
BILL HICKS

Future Historically People Several
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
BILL HICKS

Ideas Next Revolutionary
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
BILL HICKS

Cow Mushroom Thinking
Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
BILL HICKS

Answers Helping People
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Military
What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
BILL HICKS

Arms Government Realizing
I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
BILL HICKS

Government Sorry Talking
I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet.
BILL HICKS

Believe Order Purpose
It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
BILL HICKS

Okay Thinking Trying
I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
BILL HICKS

Enthusiasm Party Rocks
People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.
BILL HICKS

Country People United States
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
BILL HICKS

Jobs People Vote

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

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Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life?

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