What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.
BILL HICKSI believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it’s not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they’re Napoleon. That’s fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don’t share them like they’re the truth.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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While I’ve found many of the religious shows I’ve viewed over the years not to be to my liking, or in line with my own beliefs, I’ve never considered it my place to exert any greater type of censorship than changing the channel, or better yet – turning off the TV completely.
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.
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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
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I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
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Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.
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I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, ‘What’s wrong?’ Nothing. ‘Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.’ Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone?
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
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How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we’re all one?
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Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake.
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Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.
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…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe?
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
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They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
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We really are All One….this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years.
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I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
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As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
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I wouldn’t give Satan a snowball’s chance in Hell against a woman’s ego.
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I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do, commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children that a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
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Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
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Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
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I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
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Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
BILL HICKS