Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.
BILL COSBYGive me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.
More Bill Cosby Quotes
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And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.
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Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?
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Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.
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Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth who allow their kids to come back home.
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The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.
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Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
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A grandchild is God’s reward for raising a child.
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
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Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.
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Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
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There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.
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The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine.
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There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
BILL COSBY