My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KINGMy father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
More Alan King Quotes
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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Modesty is not one of my virtues.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KING