Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KINGMy father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
More Alan King Quotes
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KING