And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody?
ALAN KINGMy father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
More Alan King Quotes
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING -
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
ALAN KING -
The other day my house caught fire.
ALAN KING






