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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.

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Country Cutter Dreamer Father Handbag Hero Smart Tough

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING

Get Good Know Look Old People Tell
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING

Carnegie Hall Have Made Practice
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING

Book Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING

Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING

Distort Fun House Mirror Reflection Set Standard Style
I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
ALAN KING

Give Interview Know Poor Start Until
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
ALAN KING

Always Dinner First Morning Plan Thing
We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING

Ability Behave Fun Make Society Watch
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING

Better Father Parent
Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
ALAN KING

Difficult Face Funny Go Let Offend Worry
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING

Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING

Alive Current Funny Keep Yourself
My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KING

Brother College Cut Him Member Nail Physician Surgeon Youngest
Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
ALAN KING

Alongside Dictionary Milton Party Took Tremendous Vaudeville
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING

Better Eat Much Other People Sex Some Special Talent Take Than Way
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING

Bank Banker Chain Come Down Friend Image New Pen

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