It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KINGIt’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
More Alan King Quotes
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
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The other day my house caught fire.
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
ALAN KING