I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGMy father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
More Alan King Quotes
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Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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The ability to absorb a book and make someone else’s words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
ALAN KING