A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
ALAN KINGMy father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
More Alan King Quotes
-
-
The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
ALAN KING -
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
ALAN KING -
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING -
Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
ALAN KING -
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KING -
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING -
I was a high school throw-out.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
ALAN KING -
I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KING -
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING -
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING -
When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
ALAN KING -
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
ALAN KING -
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
ALAN KING






