My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
ALAN KINGEd Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
More Alan King Quotes
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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Villains are a ball. People have been laughing at me for 50 years, so I love to sit in the back of the theater and listen to them hate me.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING