Modesty is not one of my virtues.
ALAN KINGMilton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
More Alan King Quotes
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I don’t mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING -
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
ALAN KING -
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
ALAN KING -
You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
ALAN KING -
My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING -
We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
ALAN KING -
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
ALAN KING -
Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING -
You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KING -
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
ALAN KING -
We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING