For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KINGMilton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
More Alan King Quotes
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up ‘vaudeville’ in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says ‘Milton Berle’ – and he made it just a tremendous party.
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It’s more fun with someone who really likes it. I can’t imagine having a lasting friendship with anyone who is not interested in food.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING -
When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags.
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You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
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We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator…
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.
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I’m only… I’m only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I’m a… I’m just screaming all over the place with joy.
ALAN KING