Banks have a new image. Now you have ‘a friend,’ your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
ALAN KINGI had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
More Alan King Quotes
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
ALAN KING -
Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
ALAN KING -
My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
ALAN KING -
One thing I’ve never said in my whole life is, ‘Let’s have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.’
ALAN KING -
I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
ALAN KING -
Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
ALAN KING -
There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
ALAN KING -
My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
ALAN KING -
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
ALAN KING -
I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.
ALAN KING -
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
ALAN KING -
As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
ALAN KING -
As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex. Except for salami and eggs.
ALAN KING