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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.

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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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Ability Audience Comedy Identity never Say Son Story Tell
An old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.
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Always Big Consider End Failure Line Old Socialist Unionist
There’s nobody to believe in anymore, nobody to trust.
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Eating takes a special talent. Some people are much better at it than others. In that way, it is like sex, and as with sex.
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Better Eat Much Other People Sex Some Special Talent Take Than Way
I always plan dinner first thing in the morning.
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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Father Help Leave Not True
Everything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn’t know fluffy. Everything sank.
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Ball Everything Matzoh Mother Sank
Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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Humor Jew Joke Objectivity Only Refer Speak Stage Unfunny
I think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
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Audience Big Comedy Identity Thing Think
Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
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Distort Fun House Mirror Reflection Set Standard Style
Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Better Salami Sex Slice Thickly
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
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Atom Think Expense Great Humor Someone Something
But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It’s much more fun.
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Fun heavy Love More Movie Much
When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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Done First Jewish Act Person Saw Told
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
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