You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.
ALAN KINGI had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
More Alan King Quotes
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As a parent, I’d – I’d be a better father.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
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Let’s face it: It’s difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore’s program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn’t like it. I had to get even.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!
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My son says I never tell stories about anyone who’s living.
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or ‘stage’ Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
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If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.
ALAN KING






