I won’t eat in a place that has suits of armor.
ALAN KINGOne morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
More Alan King Quotes
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When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, ‘You’re doing a Jewish act.’
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Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
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Comedy is an amazing calling. Once you get that first laugh, it’s hard to turn away.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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When I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.
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That’s the great thing about New Year’s, you get to be a year older.
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We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.
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I just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.
ALAN KING -
One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, ‘It’s a little cloudy.’ I took the tube from her and said, ‘Let me run it through again,’ and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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My brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn’t let him cut my nails.
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Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
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I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.
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Then, of course, you’re hooked and you have to learn how to survive in the business.
ALAN KING