Now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.
ALAN KINGI think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.
More Alan King Quotes
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My father helped me leave. He said, ‘It’s all out there, it’s not here.’
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My lawyer said, “Shouldn’t be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?” I said, “Fire and theft.” The lawyer frowned. “Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft.”
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You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.
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I was a high school throw-out.
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It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.
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When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I’m going to have for dinner or I can’t get through the day.
ALAN KING -
You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
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We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house.
ALAN KING -
Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing.
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For me, that wasn’t such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time.
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My mother kept the house clean and we ate good.
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When I was a kid, my father used to tell me that everybody was celebrating my birthday. That’s what the trees are all about.
ALAN KING -
There’s a charm, there’s a rhythm, there’s a soul to Jewish humor.
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I had a sympathetic role in ‘thirtysomething,’ and in two weeks I’m going to do the role again.
ALAN KING -
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
ALAN KING