People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA






