Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLAFigure out what to do, then take a nap.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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