I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
ADAM CAROLLAFigure out what to do, then take a nap.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
ADAM CAROLLA