We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLAFigure out what to do, then take a nap.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
ADAM CAROLLA