I don’t know anything about computers.
ADAM CAROLLABut the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn’t imagine it.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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When I’m in power, here’s how I’m gonna put the country back on its feet. I’m going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the ‘tardiest of the ‘tards like the thick crust.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
ADAM CAROLLA