Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLAIf you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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People are stupid. There’s a lot of dumb stuff that’s successful.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA






