This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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My motto is “more mystery, less history”.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA