I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don’t know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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Don’t do your best, do my best.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Being a poor reader was enough to make me not want to do that type of formatted show
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I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
ADAM CAROLLA