Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
ADAM CAROLLAA lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
ADAM CAROLLA