The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
ADAM CAROLLAA lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
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If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
ADAM CAROLLA






