The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLAIf Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLA