People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLAIf Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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You don’t cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
ADAM CAROLLA