We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m a comedian, not a politician.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
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I’ve got a great eye for color. I’m like a chick.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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Welfare is monetary methadone.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn’t break it down piece by piece, stage by stage.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
ADAM CAROLLA






