Don’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLAI’m a comedian, not a politician.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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. It’s an even wooden floor, and may the best man or woman win. And I say God bless Dancing with the Stars, and God bless the USA.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I don’t like those men who claim that their wife is their best friend. . . . I think spouses should tolerate each other and occasionally have sex.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLA