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I’m a comedian, not a politician.

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Comedian Comedy Feeling Irony Joke Laugh Life Politician

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Excitement Express Knowledge Radio Show Yourself
To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can’t you do.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ability Assess Honest Honestly Important More Something Working
Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
ADAM CAROLLA

Advantage Ask Focus Asking Judging Smell Someone
The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
ADAM CAROLLA

Best Build Drive Gift Impossible Seem Stuff Yourself
If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLA

Museums Rembrandt Somebody Spend Walking
This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
ADAM CAROLLA

Circumstance Gay Glider Hate Pomp Star Terrorist
I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
ADAM CAROLLA

Funny Humor never Next One Thought Two
I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
ADAM CAROLLA

Behind Feeling Feelings Joke Sort Stand Trying
I don’t normally vote. I’m lazy and I never bought into the every vote counts.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bought Count Counting Lazy Normally Vote
If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
ADAM CAROLLA

Act Boom Country Driven Gay Golf Real Rule Section Value
We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Always Country Going Gone See Want
Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bed Difficulty Honestly Kind Relaxing Stuff
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLA

Christmas Country Dad Feel Instantly Kid Wrong
He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA

Done Funny Guy Humor Onesome Threesome
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
ADAM CAROLLA

Insane Mean Million People Smartest Vote
I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLA

Blue Collar Doofus Guy Valley

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