Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
ADAM CAROLLAWhoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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It’s like the Fouth of July in my underpants.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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Maybe it’s weird, but I don’t feel in any way, shape or form that I’m taking over his show.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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