Any place I hang my head is home.
GROUCHO MARXWhen you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.
More Groucho Marx Quotes
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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
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I think women are sexy when they got some clothes on. And if later they take them off then you’ve triumphed.
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I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX -
Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them, well I have others.
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One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.
GROUCHO MARX -
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
GROUCHO MARX -
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX -
Don’t look now, but there’s one man too many in this room, and I think it’s you.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t know why, but whenever I dream of a nurse she always has red hair.
GROUCHO MARX -
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX -
I love to read. My education is self-inflicted.
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If you’ve heard this story before, don’t stop me, because I’d like to hear it again.
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You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.
GROUCHO MARX -
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX -
All people are born alike except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX






