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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

W. C. Fields

When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDS

Enough Fools Live People Time Yourself
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.
W. C. FIELDS

Ambitious Myself Tree
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Attitude Education Important Money Past People Skill
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Food Myself

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

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A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

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