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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

W. C. Fields

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Experience Life
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Necessary Sex Yourself
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Money Myself Wild Woman
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself

I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

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