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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.

W. C. Fields

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Judgement Life Nation Need Wife
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Start
The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS

Himself Mom
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Danger Man Place World
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS

Appearance Help People Sex Ugly
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself

Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.

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Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.

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