Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDSFew things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDSDrat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDSA thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDSIf you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDSI never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDSWouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDSYou can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.
W. C. FIELDSWhen life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDSI used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDSYou can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDSIf it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDSSome things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDSA woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDSWhen you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDSI must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS