When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDSWhen life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDSThere comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDSPrayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDSI don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDSI am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDSTrust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDSSex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDSI certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDSSome things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDSI never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDSI personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDSAttitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDSThe world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDSNow don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDSI only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS