black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

W. C. Fields

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.
W. C. FIELDS

Company Myself
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Bad Children Hate
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself One Liner
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Belief Trust Yourself
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS

Attitude Deep Yourself
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Home
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes