I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDSDrat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS -
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS -
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS -
If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.
W. C. FIELDS -
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS -
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS