“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.”

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

The Internet is like Hitler they think they are getting rid of the problem but they’re not.

Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

All Children Have Brain Damage!

And so the dentist says ‘Rinse.’ So you lean over, and you’re lookin’ at this miniature toilet bowl.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl there’s a little voice that say, ‘I wonder where he would go if it hadn’t been for his head.

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it!

Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.

All parents experience the same problems.

It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

One day at a time either you can be what people want you to be, or to be who you are.

Every light is not the sun.

It is possible for the same thing both to be and not to be.

We have a tendency to fall for broken things thinking we can fix them What if we just gathered all the pieces into our arms and loved them just as they are?

Oh darling, if the universe would need the love of us careless humans to keep its restless heart alive the sky would be full of dead stars.

Humans are part of nature, and if we are not doing well, then nature is not doing well, because we are nature.

When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back

Pretty flowers have to die some day too.