Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
MARK TWAINThere’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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I haven’t any right to criticize books, and I don’t do it except when I hate them.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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Be good and you will be lonesome.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
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Obscurity and a competence – that is the life that is best worth living.
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To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
MARK TWAIN