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The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.

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Farmer Optimistic

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It is awful hard to get people interested in corruption unless they can get some of it.
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
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The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.
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When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.
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You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.
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There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
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Work to make a living; serve to make a life.
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An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.
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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
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You can’t say civilization don’t advance, in every war they kill you in a new way.
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Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.
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