What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
MARK TWAINAny emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
More Mark Twain Quotes
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In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.
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History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
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The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man’s.
MARK TWAIN -
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
MARK TWAIN -
The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
MARK TWAIN -
Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
MARK TWAIN -
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
MARK TWAIN -
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.
MARK TWAIN -
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.
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My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
MARK TWAIN -
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
MARK TWAIN -
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be – a Christian.
MARK TWAIN